Changing from primary to secondary school is one of the biggest transitions in a child’s life. New building, new staff, new friends and increased workload can feel daunting. Children are likely to feel nervous, worried or both. Your support at home can make a real difference to how they settle.
This article explores some of the ways in which you can best support a child through this potentially turbulent time.
Some children will openly talk about worries. Some will become quieter, more irritable or show sleep and appetite changes. Don’t dismiss their feelings as “just nerves”. Tell them it’s natural to feel nervous about change. Patience and reassurance are wonderful.
Ask simple, open-ended questions about their day, such as “What was the highlight?” or “What was difficult today?”. Refrain from jumping in to give advice. By showing genuine interest, you create a space where your child feels comfortable to share.
Secondary school is often the time of earlier mornings, longer days at school and more homework. Getting your child into a sleep and study habit right from the start can reduce stress. Prepare uniforms, bags and lunches the night before to take a bit of stress out of mornings.
Secondary school teaches children to be more responsible. You can do this by letting them organise themselves with their timetable, homework and equipment, but still be available should they need you. A balance between being independent and being assisted gives confidence.
Join parent evenings and read school communications. If problems occur, speak with their tutor or pastoral staff early. This demonstrates to your child that you and the school are in collaboration to provide help.
Friendships may shift as your child adjusts to new classmates. Invite them to join clubs or activity groups to expand their social network. If they are having trouble, assure them that taking time to develop friendships is normal. Inform them that others will be feeling the same way.
Children learn from their parents. If you speak well of secondary school and highlight opportunities, they are likely to do the same. Staying calm will reduce uncertainty.
Physical activity, creative activities and relaxation are all required for stress management. Encourage them to maintain a balance between work and leisure activities they like. Supervise screen time, as excessive use can disrupt sleep and mood.
If your child continues to show worry, ongoing sleep disturbance, or refusal to attend school, speak with their teacher or GP. Early intervention can allow small issues to become minor problems instead of big ones.
Secondary school is a new challenge, but with your support and regular encouragement, your child has the resilience and confidence to thrive in their new environment.
If you’re concerned about your child’s mental wellbeing,
Teladoc Health UK offers a Parent Consultation and Child Assessment service for children aged up to and including 17 years. This includes a session with a qualified expert, followed by a written report providing tailored advice on the next steps to best support your child. For more information: Mental Health: Child Assessments & Parent Consultations | Teladoc Health UK
Related Links:
Starting secondary school – BBC Parents’ Toolkit – BBC Bitesize
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